M and I could not be more excited to announce that we're expecting a blessing due December 13, 2012!
My BFP story:
On April 4, 2012 I woke up at 3:00 AM with the urge to use the restroom. Because I knew that getting up and walking would throw my Basal Body Temperature into a loop, so I reached for my thermometer and took my temperature before getting up. After a minute my thermometer beeped and my temperature read 98.61 much higher than I had ever seen (making me immediately excited)! I knew I was 12 days past ovulation so technically, it wouldn't be to early in the cycle to take a pregnancy test. I went in to the restroom, said a prayer and peed in disposable cup. I decided against testing right there and then knowing that wether it be joy or dissapoint, I would be to emotional to go back to sleep if I knew. I covered up the cup, placed it behind the trash bin (so M wouldn't think i'm crazy if he found it) and went back to bed.
Ofcourse going back to bed was easier said than done. I had so many thoughts racing through my head. I even had a brief nightmare of getting up to test only to find a puddle of blood beneath me (Gross! I know, but I'm being honest here).
I fell asleep.
My alarm rang at 6:00 AM
I got up and went back to the restroom with extreme anxiety as M snoozed, I dipped a cheapie Internet pregnancy test (Wondfo) into the cup and held it for about 7 seconds ( I figured i'd use a lucky number). As per the instructions I laid the test flat and covered it so I wouldn't be tempted to look.
I sat on the toilet and :
-Said another prayer -- thanking god for whatever the outcome as I know he knows what's best for us.
-Googled "Can FMU sit for longer than 2 hours and still be used ?" -- The answer was "Yes"
-Checked my Facebook
-Checked a fotographer's website to see if she posted any pictures of an event I attended on Sunday
By then 5 minutes had passed and I braced myself for the let down. I had grown to familiar with the stark white face of these Wondfo test.. I couldn't even imagine it looking any other way. I also reminded myself that many of the reviews for these cheapies said to expect nothing more than a faint line even if you are pregnant.
I pulled the shower curtain back.
And looking straight at me were the two most beautiful, clear, bold pink lines. Outloud I said "Oh my god!". For a second I thought I had picked up the wrong type of test. I thought "did I just dip an OPK?".. "OPKs always have two lines".
I had imagined for so long what the second line would look like if it were there, and now it was
...and I thought it was all a mistake.
I quietly unwrapped a Clear Blue Digital test (I didn't want M to hear me) and dipped it in. Again, held it for 7 seconds. Instructions on this test said to wait for two minutes before final results but within seconds the screen displayed the beautiful word I thought would never describe me ...
"Pregnant"
I could hear M shuffling around waking up and feeding our dog Tyco.
I was a nervous wreck!
I went over in my head the sweet plans I had for when this day would come and how I would do an elaborate reveal at which time he would cry.. I would cry ... the angels would sing and things would be magical. But now that I was in the moment I couldn't keep my nerves together. I thought : "maybe I could invite him for dinner and do something special tonight" .. or "Maybe I can tell him during our trip to Disney this weekend, it's only 2 days away.. I can hold it". But I couldn't shake the nerves. My husband is my best friend and it would drive me up the wall keeping a secret of this magnitude from him. Plus, I'm a horrible liar.
I went out to the kitchen with the biggest smile on my face and kissed him. He had just woken up and hadn't brushed - making this kiss so dry, simple and unromantic. For a moment I felt naiive. How could I expect him to sweep me up and give me the passionate kiss I longed for? He didn't know that I was carrying his child. He didn't know that god had answered our prayers. For M... It was just Wednesday and he was his usual sweet morning self.
This is where things got weird:
Tyco (again- our dog) was acting so unusual and on edge.He kept frantically looking around as if something was wrong; he'd never done anything like this. He ran to the couch and looked around. He then shot to the kitchen and looked around (with crazy eyes). He jumped on the oven --- this was pretty funny (well for me) because for my own entertainment I asked M if Tyco was looking for the bun in the oven (LOL!) but M didn't catch on.
Tyco was starting to make me nervous so I walked back to our bathroom and paced.
After a minute I concluded that I just couldn't do this dance any longer. This is as much his child as it is mine and it wasn't fair that I was the only one that knew so I picked up the Digital held it behind my back and walked to the kitchen.
Tyco was still acting crazy and I thought it perfect to use it to my advantage. I walked right up to M and asked "do you think that Tyco is acting so crazy because of this?". Like a gitty school girl, I shoved that stick right up to his face!
He immediately held me as he asked continuously "are you for real??"; You could see the shock in his face but he wasn't crying.
It didn't bother me that he wasn't crying because I could feel that we were both thinking the same thing: "This is to good to be true". M bent down and kissed my stomach and then loving held me again.
My idea of the day we'd find out we were expecting played out completely different than I had dreamed of, but it was real. No rainbows, no harps playing, no doves being relased.. Just two people, completely in love and equally nervous about the journey that awaits.
Though we are excited, it simply hadn't sunk in yet.
Thank you lord for this wonderful gift!
